It’s Time For Men To Man Up

What makes a man truly a man? I’d say a penis is a pretty important requirement. Anything else? Well, according to Mark Twain, ‘clothes make the man’. So far so good. This whole ‘being a man’ thing seems pretty easy: a pair of gonads, the ability to wear pants and - bob’s your uncle! – you’re a bloke. Cushty.

Things only get complicated when video games are thrown in to the mix. Why? Because video games emasculate men. That’s right, bopping Bowser on his scaly bonce will destroy your masculinity quicker than an appointment at a castration clinic. At least that’s what William J. Bennet would have you believe.

Bennet, a CNN contributor, was the U.S. secretary of education from 1985 to 1988, and is the author of "The Book of Man: Readings on the Path to Manhood." A man's man, if you will. He’s also the fella that wrote this article.

The article explains how ‘for the first time in history, women are better educated, more ambitious and arguably more successful than men.’ Is this true? Maybe. But what exactly is holding us men back from achieving our true potential and being, well, you know, proper men. Brace yourselves fellas, ‘cos you ‘aint gonna like this. Yup, it’s video games.

“The Founding Fathers believed, and the evidence still shows, that industriousness, marriage and religion are a very important basis for male empowerment and achievement. We may need to say to a number of our twenty-something men, "Get off the video games five hours a day, get yourself together, get a challenging job and get married." It's time for men to man up.”

That’s right guys, it’s time to man the fuck up. Get off your fat arses, get a job and get married. That’s exactly what I’m gonna do. Right after I complete Dead Island…